fun – eMag Uni Augsburg

Is 3 years enough? – The story of a class reunion

Is three years after graduation too early for a class reunion? Maybe, maybe not, but it certainly was enough for me to spend roughly 12 hours drinking and speaking to my classmates. So, let’s go ahead and try to recap what went into planning it and the night itself.

As former class president, I was the lucky one to be in charge of setting a date for the class reunion and planning everything. So why did I set the date so early? Well, it really boils down to two major points. First of all, our regular yearly meetup, the city festival, fell flat this year, because of renovations in the city center. I got these news around Christmas, which definitely was a bummer, but sparked the idea to move the reunion date up by a few years. After talking to my vice president, we agreed that it makes sense, also because of the second reason, which is that the money we had in our bank was a lot for a student wallet, but not so much for someone with a stable job that worked for a few months.

So now that we had the date fixed, how much prep work did we put into it? Not a whole lot to be perfectly honest. Now that was not just because we were a bit lazy – which admittedly we were – but we also didn’t think that the 3-year celebration really warranted anything special. So, what did we do then? We booked an evening at our favorite bar. It was the one we pretty much spent all of our weekends at during school (yeah, there’s not that many alternatives in rural areas).

The evening itself, though, went amazingly. As class president I had to be the first one there, but I also had the honor of setting up the tap with 1500€. It didn’t take long for the first people to arrive as the allure of free beer is just too big. Most classmates arrived with their old friends, but they actually all dispersed quite quickly and everyone started talking to everyone, which was amazing to see. Admittedly, we’ve always been a tightly knit class, but some of the classmates I saw talking to each other had barely anything to do with each other during school times. For those of you wondering how long the tap lasted: It took our class of 80 people (20+ or so were designated drivers) 5 hours to kill the tap, which was longer than I expected. But the end of the tap also ushered in the end of the night. The majority of people left within the next hour, except for a small group of maybe 10 people, myself included, that stayed until the sun dawned, before we all trotted home just as we did all those years ago.

Author/Photo: Johannes Banzhaf

Once upon a time …

At our promotion event last week, we had people at our booth contribute to fun short stories. Contributors only were able to see the last sentence or phrase and were asked to continue the story. See what we got out of it. Maybe you’d even like to add to the last one that’s still unfinished. Join us on Facebook and continue the story in the comments’ section.

Once upon a time…

There were seven clueless losers sitting in front of the Hörsaal I waiting for their plane to arrive, they realized they forgot their child at the check-in. The time they arrived at their hotel in Malaga it was already time for breakfast. Obviously Batman didn’t like Blueberry Pancakes, but it always served as an excuse to use that cool helicopter. Sadly he never landed anywhere. So he called Batman, his Bro. He opened a bottle of ‘Brosé’ and cheered “NO HOMO BRO!!” and then he got eaten by the giant shark that jumped on board, luckily I was saved by my pet velociraptor.

Once upon a time..

In a galaxy far far away people had to breathe GLUTEN instead of air which was unfortunate for people who who were gluten-intolerant. That’s why they invented a gluten-filtering mask. Philosophy professors instantly started asking themselves is this meaning of life? And if it was, would it help them discover a way to live forever? Cuz if we live forever we will get in trouble! Or we shouldn’t reproduce anymore. Yes, That’s actually a good idea! But how can we get there? The answer is: birds. They are like living airplanes. But suddenly Spider-man shows up! And behold, he looked at the rising sun, and he smiled.

Once upon a time..

There was an English student who did not know what to write. She thought about it for hours when suddenly something very strange happened: A bright light appeared in the sky. Somehow it put a smile on my face.. and my cookie turned into a unicorn and the unicorn was glittering&pink. It was flying through the clouds. I had imagined the clouds to be soft and fluffy but the marshmallowness exceeded his wildest dreams. I saw a unicorn on the of the land. It was pink. It danced on a rainbow. And that unicorn had a huuuge d*ck which was why the one-eyed pirate was painting at it.

Once upon a time..

there was free campus-coffee but behold! It was poisoned by a giant purple dragon’s claws. The wizard managed to destroy it. Out of thin air a beautifully-glittering fairy appeared and started rapping drake and got crazy about it because her grandma used to do that because she was the most badass woman he ever met because she’s fond of adventures …. [continue for us on FB]

German grimness

Sometimes it’s a good idea not to worry so much. But even when we really shouldn’t, we kind of always do. You see we Germans are pretty good at a lot of things, or at least we hope we are. We build some rather nice cars. We play soccer as an actual team sometimes. We have the best beer. We have a really good rail network. Wait what?

Yeah, you got that. Someone actually saying the Deutsche Bahn is doing at least a more or less decent job. Half of you will probably stop reading now – but not so fast, please. The last time I took a train outside of Germany thirty-five kilometres took seven hours on a Chinese train with British train tracks. I say that, because the Chinese didn’t quite get their measurements right and the ride was incredibly bumpy. There was also a mouse (or quite possibly mice) hiding somewhere under the floor and occasionally a branch hit someone through the windowless carriages. But guess what? Everybody on that train was really happy. For a country where the GDP per capita is a good three percent that of Germany, I find that quite fantastic. On the last train I took in Germany, half the people looked unhappy – me included. After all, that 5-minute delay really was heart breaking.

So lean back, relax and maybe try not to worry for the next one and a half minutes it will take you to read this.

First, there’s our school system. Every three years, the “Programme for International Student Assessment” (PISA) does just that and assesses our school system somewhere, somehow. In the end, everyone is disappointed and nothing changes. I’m sure there’s a PISA inspector somewhere that hopes that Chinese students acing all their exams are incredibly happy and that all those poor lost souls playing football and having fun are really unhappy that they didn’t come top of the world in the test.

Besides, there’s the weather. It’s either too hot or too cold and when it’s just right, you’re far away on holiday and its either too damp, humid or sunny there.

Apart from that, those of you who are not privately insured will surely have sat in a waiting room before. And yes, our system is quite silly. But no, don’t tell that to anyone in the United States who just got a medical bill for fifty thousand dollars. He’ll probably wish the snake had been more poisonous.

Another thing is statistics like the unemployment rate, which is a mere 3.8% and yet if you ask any German for their first impression, they’d likely say it’s way too high. Tell that to the Kenyans, where not even half the people are employed. And yes, that might be a rather lousy comparison, but our next-door neighbour France’s rate is closer to ten percent. Ask them, and they’ll say it’s not too bad. And they’re not wrong. Compared to Kenya’s, it really isn’t.

Looking at someone’s face in a posh restaurant in Germany when they have to wait longer than the five and a half minutes, they expect their apéritif to take makes you think people in Africa die of anger – and not starvation.

So yeah, maybe next time think about how happy others would be if their situation was only as bad as yours. And then just relax – it really can’t be that bad.

Fan fiction

Have you ever read a book that became much more than just a book? That smells like home every time you open it and immediately transports you back into a familiar world where everything is as it should be? This article is about what happens after “happy ever after”.

A reader’s problems

I close the book and my eyes, and try to let the last sentence linger a little longer. Just like the sweet taste of chocolate long after you’ve swallowed it, the last sentence of a book stays with you for some time. But even while you enjoy this perfect conclusion of your adventures, a sweet, stinging melancholy fills your heart because now you have to say goodbye to the characters you’ve got to know so well. You’ve become comrades-in-arms now, best friends, or even a family. It’s not surprising that many avid readers refuse to let go of this world – this home away from home.

From reader to writer

So what can you do if the story is over and your favourite author just decides: that’s it? No more books, no more adventures, no more pointed jokes and delicate romances between your favourite characters. Just an excruciating “The end” that leaves a gaping wound in your story-filled heart. Well, if you don’t want the story to be over, then you have to make it continue, right? This is where you enter the wondrous world of fan fiction! Let the journey begin…

Fan fiction

Every big story, no matter if it’s a book or a movie has its own fandom, and therefore its own fan fiction. The internet’s full of blogs that only serve this purpose and many of these amateur writers have created their own small communities. What they do is create alternate endings, sequels or simply continue a story, but the important thing is that they provide their readers with more stories about their heroes and heroines. A little more time in a magical world – an attempt to avoid the imminent, final goodbye.

‘Fangirl’ by Rainbow Rowell

The author, Rainbow Rowell, has even written a book about fan fiction. ‘Fangirl’ is about a girl who writes continuations of her favourite fantasy novel on her own blog. She’s gained a huge number of fans, but no one knows who she really is, since she publishes her stories using a pen name. As you read the book, you understand just how much effort these amateur writers put into their worlds, although most of them don’t even make any money out of it. They only write for their own pleasure, but once they acquire an extensive community of readers, the pressure grows. They receive the first negative criticism, and readers expect plots to match their own expectations. Continuing a story can get really hard at times, but the massive response proves that it’s worth their while. And, in the end, they remember why they started to write in the first place: to be able to lose themselves in a magical world for just a little longer.

Text: Vanessa Hoffmann
Picture: Vanessa Hoffmann

Adopt – don’t shop!

Many people have issues about adopting a dog from a local shelter. There are, of course, a lot of myths and prejudices about shelter animals, which encourages a lot of people who are willing to let a furbaby into their lives to buy a pet in a pet store, from a local breeder or even on the internet. So read on if you want to know why adopting a lovely dog from a shelter is the right option, in most cases.

Myth 1: all shelter dogs are old

You want to have a young pup in your life and figure you can’t find one in a shelter? Well, this is absolutely wrong! Many shelters have a lot of puppies looking for a forever home. And the average age of a dog entering a shelter is eighteen months. But senior dogs are awesome, too, so consider giving one a loving home.

Myth 2: all shelter dogs are aggressive – why would they be in a shelter otherwise?

Of course, not all dogs in shelters are aggressive. Most dogs given away by their families are perfectly fine and well-behaved; they have to leave because their families are moving or because someone’s getting a divorce. In any case, shelters always label their dogs and check with your lifestyle before letting you adopt – so you’ll always know what you’re getting and whether a particular dog matches what you want.

Myth 3: all shelter dogs have health issues

Wrong! Most shelter dogs are more likely to be healthy than purchased dogs. After getting to the shelter, all canines undergo a medical check and get all the important shots to guarantee their health and the health of all dogs around them. Of course, a dog from a good breeder might be perfectly healthy, too, but selling puppies is an easy way to earn fast money. So there are a lot of black sheep among breeders; buying a cheap puppy from an unauthorized breeder or from a puppy mill might not only supply you a dog with major health issues, but will give breeders the opportunity to go on with their dirty work and torture more innocent dogs. So if you decide to buy a dog from breeders, make sure that they’re authorized and definitely visit their facilities before you decide to trust them.

Myth 4: adopting from shelters is a huge hassle

No! It’s actually pretty easy! You can go to shelters during their visiting hours to figure out if a suitable pup is around (and I promise you – you’ll be willing to adopt them all). Then you’ll have to explain to the staff what you’re interested in, take the pup out for a few walks and if everything seems fine between you and the dog, you’ll just adopt them. Nothing more simple than that.

So just go for it!

Adopting a pup will bring so much joy into your life. Shelter dogs which have gone through unhappy times will appreciate your love and will always show their never-ending gratitude. I adopted the most precious and loving dog from a shelter and have never regretted the decision.

Where to go

Tierschutzverein Augsburg und Umgebung e. V.
Holzbachstr. 4c
86152 Augsburg
0821 / 455290 – 0
http://www.tierheim-augsburg.de/

Tierheim Lechleite
Neue Bergstraße 101
86316 Friedberg/Derching
0821 / 79 30 30
http://www.tierheim-lechleite.de/

Tierheim und Tierschutzbund Ulm/Neu-Ulm und Umgebung e.V.
Örlinger-Tal-Weg 40
89081 Ulm
0731 / 97 92 31-50
https://tierheim-ulm.de/

Text & Pictures: Lisa Schümann

Student species

About 20,000 students populate the University of Augsburg, which means different people from all over the world, who, at first sight, have almost nothing in common. Well, they’re all students, of course – mammals with particular habits, such as the mass migration from the campus buildings to the Mensa at 1.16 PM. So, as I’ve spent a lot of time in lectures and courses, it’s quite simple to divide the student animal kingdom into three main categories…

Those who bring food to class

Everybody longs for a snack, above all when you’ve spent the whole day at university and you’re getting a little peckish. A muesli bar, some yoghurt or an apple re the most popular. But not for him. No, the food lover goes big. It’s five p.m., and a pungent odor in the university corridors announces, well in advance, the arrival of BigFood. And here he comes, almost limping, since he’s trying to walk and devour the noodles at the same time. Red sauce all over his mouth and a passion for chopsticks – because eating with a fork is too mainstream. Big food’s ready to contaminate the air of another lecture theatre, usually sitting next to you, and contributing indecipherable questions – his mouth is full! – to the class discussion.

Those who pinch your things

No, I don’t mean your bike, money or smartphone. University thieves don’t aim that high – they just look for your stuff. Innocent copies, pencils and clips, which fall into the hands of those professional thieves. The strategy is always the same: they sit next to you, ask if they can read your copies, and, once the class is over, your marvelous printed sheets have disappeared. After the “Gosh-why-am-I-so-forgetful?” moment, you realize your neighbor has pinched your materials, and sometimes even deprived you of your motivation to study (in the process increasing the number of procrastinators among students as well as Netflix sales).

Those who can’t hold it anymore

Who doesn’t love lectures? Listening to the professor talking away, jotting something down, snoozing in your seat. Not really. Someone in the middle of your row stands up and turns up all the tilt-top desks, as if they were dominoes. The incontinent student faces an obstacle course, with hurdles made of jackets, backpacks and other (unfortunate) students, who are mercilessly attacked by the athlete’s knees. The gymnast finally reaches the door, while the heads follow him, making sure he hasn’t injured himself (or hoping that he has!). Nature is calling and it’s only polite to answer – and go to the loo. Pity that it’s always the same person, sitting in the same place, during the same lecture.

Text: Veronica Armellini
Picture: Daniela Armellini

Five things I hate about summer – and five things to make it all a little more bearable

Confession time: I hate summer. I know full well that I’m in the minority here, but it’s just what it is. It’s also not a very recent development for me, so I can’t really blame climate change or so. I know, though, that a lot of different things come into play which make me hate the favorite season of the majority of the population.

The most obvious reason is, of course, the heat. My favorite temperature is somewhere between 13° and 18°. In summer, it seems like it’s 30+° most of the time. There’s just no middle ground anymore. The thing is I’d be totally able to deal with it if it wasn’t so humid. This is what makes the heat so unbearable.

And this brings me to my third point. As a consequence of the heat and the humidity, I sweat. Yet I always seem to be the only one. Other people don’t suddenly have a very shiny forehead or little rivers running down their necks, slowly making their way down the back, even though they are not doing anything that could possibly lead to sweating. I, of course, do have to deal with both. All the time.

Number four on my list of most hated things about summer would be spiders and bugs. Bugs simply bug me. German bugs more than others, though. In other countries, they seem to leave me alone most of the time. In Germany, they seem to attack me the moment I step outside, but, of course, they also don’t leave me alone when I’m inside either. They’re just always there. What makes it all so much worse is that outside they find a way in my mouth, even though I have my lips pressed tight together, and inside they have a tendency to drown in whatever drink I have standing on the table. It doesn’t even have to be something sweet like orange juice or lemon water. They’re just as alright with dying in a regular glass of sparkling water. Apparently, they really like the added thrill of the bubbles.

Finally, number five is that everybody all of a sudden flocks outside like a bunch of summer zombies. I actually spend a significant amount of time outside all year round, so naturally I wonder: where are all these people in winter?
So in case anyone feels the same way I do about summer, here are five tips to get through it all relatively unscathed:

Obviously, you should make the air condition or your fan your new best friend.
Don’t take a cold shower. This only heats up your body way faster afterwards.
Insect repellents are your second best friend 😉
Always look in your glass before you drink, you never know what’s floating on top.
Count down the days ’till September 1st, the magical day of meteorological start of fall 🙂

Finally, hang in there: it’s going to be autumn soon.

Author & Pictures: Alisa Lechky